The Church of my Dreams

The priests would harvest the grain as the sun rose at the beginning of the Passover weekend. The grain would have to be crushed as it was ground to be made into the unleavened bread. It was then made into dough and baked into a loaf. Later at the meal this loaf was broken.

Today it symbolises the body of Christ that believers share in Holy Communion. Many different denominations have various ways of going about it but the symbolism remains the same. The wine represents the blood of our Saviour and the bread His Body. But what is this Body really? Many of us have experienced the blood of Christ and His forgiveness in our lives. He has reached down and plucked us out of darkness and restored our spirits. There are countless testimonies of His faithfulness and love all over the world and there is no doubt that The Holy Spirit is working in the hearts of people, drawing the broken to Himself and showing the way to Jesus, the only True Hope and real Love!

But what about the Body that was broken. Like millions, I have found His Blood and forgiveness in my life. He is my Saviour and Friend and I am so grateful for His Grace and Love! But what about the Body that was broken… The hands and feet of my Saviour? The ears to listen to my daily battles and struggles, my joys and victories? Someone to pray with and help me through experiences that they have already been through? Someone with faith when I am doubting? Where can I find that? The Body I find is dressed as the world, trying to make themselves appealing to her, to lure her and be like her. The body is perverted, serving the desires of man for greed and power, the lusts of the flesh, money. Where can I find the pure body that is living a life of sacrifice, crushed for the good of the whole, mixed together with ingredients, the water of the Spirit and kneaded together with the grace and love of the Father? A body where the grains of wheat no longer have an identity but only the whole nourishing life-giving loaf is displayed for all to see. The broken and resurrected Body of Christ.
 

I believe this Body is supposed to be us. Believers. Look at the New Testament. They taught each other from what they had learnt through their walk with the Lord. We’re supposed to be living letters read by all. Older women and men are supposed to teach the younger. Compassion and love should be flowing to the broken hearted. How many broken hearted are still among us?
 

We are that loaf, that Body of Christ. We have or are being broken, pride crushed in the work of the Holy Spirit. Self ground till it is unrecognisable, like the wheat into flour. Then grace and mercy are lovingly kneaded into the brokenness. In the fire of the Spirit, Jesus’ forgiveness, unconditional love and acceptance bring forth a whole loaf, ready to be tasted by all. We are that loaf. The loaf that is broken daily. His mercy has worked that wholeness into our lives for the good of the body, for all to taste. My experiences of Gods grace and forgiveness are like food to other believers. But just as we all need food daily, we need to feed from that broken, resurrected body in each others lives daily and collectively. That fresh bread of Gods work is going stale.

I have been walking with the Lord for many years. Yet I am still hungry. I am hungry for that daily bread. To feed from the Broken, Resurrected Body of my Saviour in His Body, Us. I am desperate. I ask Him, “How long Lord?” This is a lonely road and I don’t believe it was meant to be like that. We can walk alone. He said that His Spirit would be with us always and without that I would die. But looking at Paul and our New Testament brothers I see a life that was shared, “the fellowship of His sufferings”. This life was a joy to them in their dull existence of simply trying to find work in order to put food on the table. Sure, there was conflict and disagreement but their pride, like the wheat, was continually crushed and new loaves of grace came out in the lives of the believers as those things were submitted to the Spirit. Taste and see that the Lord is good. We are his hands and feet to serve those in need, to touch the broken hearted.

I am not talking about the structure we know as organized church. I see very little crushing going on and sharing in one another’s brokenness and the resurrection work that He has done in us. In most cases pride, position, money and power are the order of the day. The sheep sit in the pews looking and waiting longingly for their Shepherd, longing to eat of the Body of their Saviour. I am looking for the growing, thriving, organic, Body of Christ where I can be a part of that flour that is kneaded into the whole for the good of all. I have been broken and Gods unending Grace, which I am so grateful for, has come and restored me. I need to share this with others and share in their experiences. I long for that but it seems wherever we meet, people are following their own desires, lusts and plans. 

Where is Jesus? Where can I meet and discuss Him, His Love, His Grace, His daily working in my life. Where are these believers who are broken and have abandoned all to be kneaded into the whole loaf and become one, without individual identity, but a powerful unity, having only one Identity: Christ. Sharing in His brokenness, His suffering and also in His resurrection. Experiencing His grace, daily together. Only Jesus, together. Is that possible? I believe it is. I just haven’t found my loaf yet…

Come Lord Jesus, come!

With much love,


Jack.